Beginning a new semester this spring, I could never imagine the things that occurred. It's incredible how fast things happen in life, especially when you're so tied into daily routines. Well, my daily routines had gone out the window once Winter Break came along.
I planned on taking a trip somewhere. Anywhere. Maybe Canada? But that didn't work out once I heard of all the snowfall and cold weather they were experiencing. (Mind you I do not fair well in cold weather). But there had to be somewhere else I could go just for a week or so. Unfortunately, I never found that place because the only place I found myself was on campus; working. Yes, I was working but Winter Break was a great opportunity for me to earn some extra cash and maybe put it toward my next attempt at taking a trip out of the city.
The one thing my friends and I kept looking to was spring semester. We knew that 2008 was a rocky year for each of us, but the high hopes we had for spring helped us focus our attention to a brighter 2009.
Well brighter it sure was! The sun was shining on America the day Barack Obama was sworn in as the 44th President of the United States. What a great way to start off the semester! I remember sitting in the student center at school alongside friends, classmates and people from the community. I don't think there was one person in the room who wasn't smiling.
With my heart and mind filled with thoughts of opportunity and compassion, I moved forward with the semester knowing that big things were going to happen.
I was back in the groove of classes and extracurriculars, especially with my radio show and my Resident Assistant position. Yea, this year has been quite busy as I'm working more than four jobs but really only getting paid for half of them. I enjoy it though. I honestly couldn't imagine my life without having something to do every night or someone to help or another idea to come up with. My mind is constantly going anyway, so why not put it to use. Here is a taste of my week: Monday: workout, radio show, work, class, meeting #1, meeting #2, homework, sleep
Tuesday: classes, homework, meeting, prepare for show, program, sleep...so by Friday one could understand that I have not only accomplished a lot in one week, but have also worked my brain to the max. That is where my yoga and meditation needs to come in.
I made it a goal for this spring to meditate at least 20 minutes a day. Simple right? Well, I started off quite well and than things didn't go as planned, however new ways of relaxing found their way into my schedule in the form of running.
Running has been a huge part of my life for the past five years and to get back into the training zone felt invigorating. I was excited to wake up early three days a week to train and it was partly because I had a goal to reach. A friend and I had signed up for the Philadelphia Broad Street Run. Yes, I was going to run a real-time race! I mean I had run races during track meets in high school, but never have I registered myself to run an official race. I had four months to train my body to run 10 miles. I had no doubt that my mind wasn't strong enough to endure that mental strain, however it was my body that suffered at times. My knees weren't so strong, so I paid careful attention to any pain I'd feel while running. I did my thing and waited to see where it took me...
I distinctly remember sitting down with my best friend before the spring semester started to discuss the past and what could happen in the future. We both had had anxieties about our prospective careers. There were times where we'd break down in tears and find comfort in the fact that we had potential to do great things and all that we believed in could be applied to bettering the conditions of the world. Also, there had been some issues with relationships for the both of us.
Relationships were adventurous for me, as well as for those around me, but for some reason I always felt I would be stuck on never-ending roads of struggles, heartache, and confusion. I longed for freedom and peace of mind. But no matter how much I tried to push things aside, love always finds its way into my life.
When you let something go, especially something that you love, what does it mean if somehow, someway it finds its way back to you or better yet you find your way back to each other? The confusion I thought that had subsided only heightened as days passed and new situations arose.
Oh boy. My heart was so entangled in emotions and no matter how many times I tried to focus on myself I just got caught up in my feelings again. It's all a matter of living and learning and feeling and figuring out and deciding what is really right. It's not an easy task to do and I've come to learn all the questions can't be answered or cleared up in a day, a week or even in a month.
I found myself listening to my heart and my inner emotions. The heart is such a complex thing that I associate myself with all too often. But I don't think its so much a bad thing, but maybe something that makes me too vulnerable. I've grown some tough skin through the years and it has only made me a better person, so I'm going to leave it as something that just makes me, me.
I now realized that in no shape or form can I predict what will happen in the future. When we sat down to discuss the spring semester, my friend and I had no idea what we'd be facing in the road ahead.
Times were different now. Things that once seemed impossible and unreachable somehow became realities with a drop of the 2009 New Year ball.
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