Once I finalized my study abroad plans, I fell right back into some frustrating routines. My heart was taking over my life. Paperwork, classes and internships became monotonous, and my escapist self was looking for somewhere else to go. Well, at least there was a break...
Spring break came and went real fast and I didn't do much more than work. Ever since I turned 15 I have had this voice in my head that says when you work a lot, you can get a lot of money, and with a lot of money you can do great things. Well, it's true- most of the time. Because with a lot of work, you have less time- and that time could be used toward other things in your life that you just may not be able to do because you have to go to work. Hm. Just a thought.
The continuation of my spring semester was one of many tumultuous events. I was working hard with my radio reporting and definitely refining my skills of writing, performance, and editing. Once April came I knew I'd be just fine this semester with grades and there was nothing to stress over.
Only a few weeks before the Broad Street run my body was feeling a bit stressed and it expressed itself through pains in my knee. I had trouble running and couldn't train before the race. I was left doing simple exercises and hoping that my body would stay in good shape- enough to make it 10 miles. The most important thing I had to remember was to keep my health in check. Because I'm a vegetarian, I had to make sure I was getting enough protein and supplementing with iron and vitamins. Running tears at your body and if you're not healthy enough it can really bring you down. I stocked up on a lot of peanut butter, whole grains, Kashi cereals, Luna energy bars and packed in the fruits and veggies...
May 3, 2009- I couldn't comprehend that after four months of preparation the race was finally here. I was fairly nervous, however I managed to get over it once I got to the starting line and had no other option. The one thing that worried me was the question of whether or not my knee would hold up. I knew that I had to push my body to new limits and make it down Broad Street regardless of anything and anyone. The weather was wet and damp- not the greatest for running with an injury, but it motivated me to reach the finish line faster. Throughout the first 3-4 miles my friend and I stuck together and ran at a 10-minute mile pace, however Mother Nature called and I had to make a stop at the closest YMCA. As my friend continued to run ahead, I made my stop and headed back out to now run the race alone. I had six more miles to go and I was not backing out. The crowd around me was insane and supporters lined the sidewalks on Broad Street. I got into my zone. I focused my attention on finishing. I blocked out other runners around me in order to ignore the pain and exhaustion my body was experiencing. Each mile felt like 10 miles and when I got to City Hall I knew I was more than half way there. I couldn't wait to reach the navy yard. I remember the tingly feeling in my shoulders and the loss of feeling in my hands. There were a few times I had to pull back and take it easy, but it wasn't only a matter of 30 seconds where I would speed back up and get back in the race. I asked many runners beside me what mile it was and how much longer we had, but each time I got a different response. I laughed to myself and just kept going, but there were a few times where they told me only a quarter mile longer and I would speed up a little and it ended up being another mile...I wasn't laughing to myself then...
As the finish line drew near, I dropped deep into my zone of mental concentration and thought about all that I had been through these past five months, the pain that I felt, the early morning training sessions, the career I had as a runner in high school- just things that had all pushed me even more into this race. I finished. I put a kick in my step and I finished. My feet were crossing the finish line and I was able to relax. I finally stopped moving my feet when I met up with my friend to congratulate him. We were so proud of one another. I found out that I beat my goal time of two hours...it felt so rewarding! One hour, 41 minutes was my time, WOW!
One of the proudest days of my life...honestly.
The weeks and the days flllew after the race...I was still in pain from running and once my muscle cramps subsided, I still had pain in my left knee. It was a different kind of pain- one with substance to it and worth getting checked out. I ended up getting an x-ray and MRI, but nothing was wrong with it! How could it just be stressed...maybe my whole body was just stressed.
Throughout May a sort of gray cloud hovered atop my head for some reason...many reasons actually- mostly having to do with my heart.
However, I managed to finish the semester quite successfully getting all A's and making myself proud. I couldn't believe it but when I saw it in writing it was definitely a lifetime dream come true for both me and my parents.
I had such a confusing and introverted spring semester. It was ruled by my heart while my mind was just busy trying to make sense of it all. Guys had got me down and trying to decide between them wasn't so easy. The more I thought about it the worse it got because the questions felt no where close to being answered....
I just wanted the semester to end so I could start the summer and situations would change and I would have some time to breathe and give myself some space...
My knee was still inflammed and I was feeling pain but even more prominent was the pain within my heart.
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